Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Uncyclopedia

Have you ever heard of Uncyclopedia?

Counterpart of Wikipedia? Yes, similarly. It's an encyclopedia of Kuso contents. You'll find nonsense definitions of common words there.

Here is an uncylopediarized definition of Female Ninja:

雖然現在大部份忍者已經被淘汰,但是女忍者還受到毒男上司所器重,成為現今社會一股恐怖力量。現今的社會以金融商業主導,女忍者依然保存穿著黑色襪褲的傳統,縱橫各大金融中心的寫字樓,為一向以男人主導的財務世界帶來前所未有的衝擊。她們經常使用的忍術,稱為五行循術,包括:

* 色誘之術(金)

這是女忍者基本的技巧無論是中學畢業或是博士畢業,女忍者總是以萌的姿態面對客人、同事和上司,令他們在她們面前手足無惜。而且經常穿著極短的套裝裙,露出整整被黑絲包裹的大腿;但是當他人望著她們的大腿,她們便喝斥他們是色鬼。

* 隱身之術(木)

當遇上麻煩的時候或者緊急關頭,女忍者便神龍見首不見尾。當工作完成,她們便自自然然地出現,並把所有功勞獨攬。例如她們會扮成辦公室的植物,令同事和上司不視而過。

* 情報之術(水)

她們會拿著杯子,走進休息室或茶水間,借休息為名,偷聽別人談話或與其它女忍者交換情報。技巧高的女忍者更利用心靈感應互相溝通,絕不泄露半點秘密。

* 氣功之術(火)

女忍者常常先聲奪人,一是高跟鞋踏地聲,一是無理取鬧聲,以聲氣之術壓制對手。然而,一輪聲氣發功,可能最後不是離題,便是欠缺邏輯。最後圓場一句:只是溝通問題/觀點與角度/你的表達能力有待改善/你的理解能力還停留幼稚園程度。

* 假面之術(土)

每天把厚厚的粉底舖到自己的臉上,上班前與下班後是兩張不同的嘴臉,甚至年事高者尋訪神醫換臉皮。

日本人稱狗為八(Hachi),因此作為忠心於毒男上司的女忍者,另一名稱為八婆。

Monday, January 28, 2008

Investment By One Million Bucks

Kunoichi is a loyal tool to commit a mission. If you can leverage her in a financial market, you will gain significantly.


Be ready to fight in the stock market of Dead Or Alive.

There is a blog with the exclusive advices of Stock Market. The blog is called Investment By One Million Bucks.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Fight Until We Die

Even if a female ninja is in an extremely poor situation, no surrender or suicide is allowed. She can only fight until death. No choice else.

女忍者 風 無残

It is easy to die but brave to work till the last. Kunoichi is brave, even braver than a man, isn't she?

Monday, January 21, 2008

Infernal Affairs

The phone rang.

"Thanks Thai." Sum said.
"That's good." Thai said. "Let us finish Ngai's family, ok?"
"Thai..." Sum said. "Please don't do too much."
"When you met me in the Thailand, it was lucky to save your life." Thai said. "That bullet did not shoot at you, then our partnership has been established for sake of our destiny. We must do in such way."

Sum hanged up the phone. Finally, the whole Ngai's family, including an elder woman, a lady and a baby girl , were all executed.

This is the way Assassins go.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Elementary Class Day 51-54

A new season 季節(きせつ) of training has started again. The first day is the result announcement of the last examination. Very bad. We have to strike this semester. Make a goal 目標(もくひょう)and reach it little by little ちょっとずつ.

先生:くノ一の術を教え(おしえ)ます
生徒:授業(じゅぎょう)を受け(うけ)に来ます

Unlike Chinese, Ninja celebrate their New Year according to the solar calender. Ninja only give Lucky Money お年玉(としだま)to very closed relatives, not general relatives or friends. The senior 先輩(せんぱい) gives the junior 後輩(こうはい). Ninja exchange ninja greeting cards for New Year 年賀状(ねんがじょう).

Ninja do similarly in the Summer (around the end of August). It is called Summer Greeting 暑中見舞(しょちゅうみまい).

くノ一は朝何をしましたか?
食パンに敵の汗(あせ)を塗ります。
趣味は何ですか?
殺の琴を弾く事です。

Friday, January 11, 2008

Terrible Death

Some people are easy to say death. It sounds as easy as going to sleep. In fact, they would no longer think so once they have seen the real death.

Kunoichi Case: 1 2
The female ninja, who wore black stocking, was killed in the failed mission. Her nylon was torn apart and everywhere nearby was full of blood.

Get the job well done. Respect for life!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Dressing Code

Bodystocking is well-known as the essential dressing code of Kunoichi. It's comfortable, looks beautiful but difficult to dress.


The ninja blonde demonstrates the full sheer bodystocking.

What's more:

  • Female Ninja dances

  • Ninja Girl shows

  • Lady Ninja plays the magic